do you still think about your ex? June 19, 2008
Posted by chasingstars in love.add a comment
Have you ever felt so heart broken, that it really feel’s like your heart hurt’s?
♥ oo at nakakapayat
Do you think that your ex still has feelings for you?
♥ i’d like to think he finally moved on
What are the best things to say to someone who dumped you?
♥ luckily i have never been dumped yet
What is the glue that sticks together a broken heart?
♥ acceptance
What would you do if your ex just showed up at your house right now?
♥ acknowledge him. i respect my past
Whats the worst part about a breakup?
♥ the blaming
What’s the number one reason couples break up?
♥ insecurity
Did your first breakup destroy you completely?
♥ not completely but i almost did not recover
Can you remember what you did right after your breakup with your last bf or gf?
♥ cry?
What’s the best thing someone could have said to “comfort” you during a break up?
♥ i am not the comforting type
What is the most cowardly way to break up with someone?
♥ blaming the other just to escape
What’s the worst thing a girl/guy can do to you after a breakup?
♥ pretend he still cares when he does not and pretend he does not when he still does
Have you ever broken up with someone and felt good about it?
♥ yes, i felt relieved and as if a weigh was lifted off my shoulder
What are some good break up lines?
♥ the direct lines…. this is not working out anymore
Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
♥ i hope not but if i did, i know they could mend it, i choose tough guys
Do you still think about your ex?
♥ not anymore, what’s done is done no point thinking about them
How do you stop the tears after your first love breaks up with you?
♥ you can’t
Would you end a relationship because your partner cheated?
♥ yes, i don’t believe in second chances
i love you March 25, 2008
Posted by chasingstars in love, thoughts.1 comment so far
apparently, i have a hard time saying these words.
the more i feel this the more scared i become.
i have imagined saying these more than once in different ways
in different ocasions but i have never had the chance.
there seems to be no right time or right moment for these three little words.
when you love someone, this is suppose to be the easiest words to say..
i have only said these words a couple of times and all those times i meant it.
i remember perfectly where, when, how and to whom i’ve said it.
i am waiting for that day when i can say these again without holding back,
without being scared of the consequences.
i wish to say these without turning away or hiding my fear with a smirk.
cause when you feel this, it consumes you
and no matter how hard you try to hide it, it still spills out.
it’s in your eyes, your carress, your hug, your kisses. it’s everywhere.
i wish i could say this freely and to accept everything that comes in saying it.
to open myself up to the possiblity of hurting again,crying again,
allowing myself to be vulnerable.
saying this means i am letting that other person break my walls and letting him enter.but then again,
i also know that saying these words is another chance for happiness,
for hope,
for “us” insteaad of “i”.
so how hard can it possibly be?
men in my life January 28, 2008
Posted by chasingstars in love, thoughts.3 comments
(a tribute to my guy friends: you know who you are, if not find out who you are )
Hi! I am Jessica, 27, single and happy (understatement of the year). I have 5 men in my life right now. No not boyfriends. They are borrowed. They are my friends, some i got to know really well, some not much but still meant something to me.
These men I got to know just recently and had been a part of my research(unintentionally). I am a girl who’d done it all and in the end turned out to be still single.
The first guy is the most sincere person I know. I call him my “reality check guy”. This guy is the only guy who can tell me I am not who I seem to be in the outside. He tells me I just have to set my feelings free. This is the guy I call if I have love problems or I need to get my head checked. This guy is not afraid of love. I could say he is my girly side. He’s the guy who tells me to believe in love and it’s okay to cry. I could argue with him with anything under the sun and laugh about it afterwards. He is afterall my side I am afraid to let loose.
The second guy is the guy I actually had a crush for a week. It stopped when I knew he was married (sort of). I call him my “stress reliever guy”. This is the only guy who had the guts to actually tell me that i undress myself too much. The nerve! It makes me happy sometimes though (just sometimes). I actually feel like a woman when he does that (but it doesn’t change me). This guy reminds me so much of my past. I see myself in this guy. I get releived when I see him because I don’t feel alone. I have so much in common with this guy.
The third guy is the sweetest guy I know. I call him my “sensitive guy”. This guy has the guts to nag me, which is very sweet (if I’m not drunk). This guy is for keeps. This guy can never hurt a woman intentionally. Any girl will be lucky to have him. But this guy is single like me and I have always wondered why. Now why can’t it be just us? Simple, This guy is too good for me. This guy needs someone who will love him 100% because I know he can give it back.
The forth guy is the only guy who can break my heart. I call him my “off limits guy”. This guy is mysterious. I can never figure him out. He is very dangerous to women who have weak heart. I don’t really think this guy knows what he wants and I think that’s the reason why he is still single right now. Of course these are all pressumptions. He doesn’t really say these, so I don’t really know. I don’t ask either. I’m afraid I might not like what I hear.
The fifth guy is the only guy who I’m confident will accept my darkest side. I call him my “mirror guy”. This guy knows my deepest darkest secret and he still accepted me for who I am. He never judged me. In fact he tells me it’s okay and I just need to go on with my life and to hell with other people. He is the guy who tells me to do my thing with my head held high. He is also the guy who I can call any day I want, any time I need. This guy I abuse too much(sad to say but very thankfully so). This guy will kill for me.
Now, who are they in my life? These guys helped me realize certain things. I am single but I would want a man in my life. I aim to be perfect for that man. To be perfect, these men helped me realize that I need to be a girl (damsel in distress), mistress(bitch), friend (listener), and a man(tough) all in one. I was by nature selfish and jealousy is my middle name. When I met these guys, I learned to conquer most of my fears. I need to be a girl sometimes, how can a man know he’s a man if you don’t allow yourself to be a woman for him. I need to be a mistress, every man wants a beautiful independent woman by their side. I need to be a friend, I wouldn’t want my guy hiding secrets and I can always be his support any time he wants. Last, I need to be a man sometimes, how can I make him listen to me if he does not respect me and see me as an equal.
These theories I have, I haven’t yet tried. Hopefully, I’ll meet the man who I can apply this to or meet a man who can prove me wrong. Either way is okay, afterall, I think I have conquered my fear …then again, these are all just my thoughts.
stone September 28, 2007
Posted by chasingstars in life, love, thoughts.1 comment so far
sometimes i think my heart is made of stone
solid…hard…harder to break
when i think of how it came to this..
i can’t help but cry cry for innocence
for all those experience that made it numb
for all those memories that built a wall around it
for all those times i could not undo
sometimes i think my heart is made of stone
…..a stone when thrown would hurt a person.
i hope i am a heart not made of stone
because i never wanted to hurt another person.
you July 22, 2007
Posted by chasingstars in love, thoughts.1 comment so far
no i don’t want roses, it gets withered after a while. i’d rather you give me something that will last, something i could cherish everyday for the rest of my life.
i don’t like chocolote, its sweetness makes my throat sore. i’d rather you give me food that could quench my hunger. i don’t like doors to be opened for me, i have two capable hands. i’d rather you give me respect and treat me as a partner.
i don’t want the moon or the stars, those are only for dreamers. i’d rather you stay with me through thick and thin that is better.
promises and sweet words are empty, it leaves a dry taste in my mouth. i’d rather you promise me you…just you, no icing on top, no pretentions, no false expectations.
crib (short story 1) July 20, 2007
Posted by chasingstars in love, moments.2 comments
riza was not in a good mood right now. she broke up with her nth boyfriend and as a friend, of course, my job is to listen. i cannot remember how many times i’ve heard her story, nor can i count the times we sat in this corner of starbucks, she puffing her cigarette while i’m drinking my coffee.
“riza, that’s your 5th cigarette in an hour, i think you need to breathe fresh air,” i told her in a bored manner.
“easy for you to say because you don’t smoke,” she told me.
“i don’t smoke because i’ll have bad teeth and bad breathe if i do,” i am getting really really bored.
“well, as if it matters, nobody kisses you anyway,” she said rolling her eyes.
“true, but if i’m here every other week to cry like you, i don’t think i’m missing something.” i am getting into her skin.
“i don’t cry…well if i do…it’s not because of them.”
“if you say so,” i remember we had this discussion before.
hmmmm, that’s weird, she’s not answering back and she’s fidgeting in her seat. there is a a guy somewhere near. i’m sure of it.i turned my head and got the biggest shock of my life. i cannot believe i’m looking at him. he was not looking at me. he was playing with something inside a crib, like a baby’s crib… like his baby’s crib, he was slowly looking up though. i think my head got separated from my neck from turning again so quickly.
“riza, let’s go.” i said trying not to panic.
“what’s wrong? you look so pale. are you okay?” she’s starting to notice.
i will calm down. “i’m fine. i’ll just finish this coffee and then we’ll go, alright?”
“sure, sure. relax.” now she knows.
i met riza 3 years ago. we had the same work. that time i was mending a broken heart. that time, i was exactly like her so we got along very well. we were a team, we hang out together, meet people and enjoy the company of men. after a while though it wore me out. i got tired. after a year of being friends, i told her of what happened to me a year ago. i told her my story. my only story, the one that revolves around jake, the one that got away. jake was every woman’s dream, a very understanding guy. he was also responsible and very funny. he was smart, ambitious and has plans, definitely has plans. while i, i was the girl who took advantage. the girl who left him because he had plans. fear lured me to the nearest door out. jake though, continued his plans and pursued his career and got out of town. i tried to look for him, i was telling myself, i was just looking to make sure he was alright, but i didn’t find him. it dawned on me that he probably didn’t want to be found. so i went my way, started my life on my own again the way i thought i wanted it to. that was the time i met riza.
“carmela.” somebody was calling me. it was jake. he was standing beside me carrying the baby. i tried to talk, i think i did.
“how are you?” he asked.
“he’s asking how are you…..for goodness sake mella!” now that’s riza.
“jake…. ummm….. is that your baby?” now that’s me. he was smiling, i mean laughing, trying to stop his laughter and failing to. the baby was starting to cry and riza was watching intently, looking at me, looking at him, looking at the baby.
“jake! is that your baby?!?!”
“he’s such a cute baby, don’t you think?” he was trying to piss me off.
“riza let’s go!” now the baby was really crying so hard.
then i saw her approaching, “jake you can’t even take care of him for 10 mins,” then she went back to their table to feed the baby.
“is that your sister?” i was calming down.
“yes, you remember her right?”he said looking at me intently. i remember that look. i got all flushed and speechless again.
“how are you mella?” now that sounded like a carress.
“i looked for you jake.”
“i know, but i wanted you to find me for a different reason.” makes sense to me.
” jake i—,” i am once again that girl 3 years ago.
“you haven’t changed mel,” was that disappoint i heard? was i that same girl still? did i ever grow up?
“i have changed jake. now i know your hair falls more on the left side. i can see how your eyes lighten up when you smile. i can hear your words clearer now. i can see your cheeks glow when you look at me. i can feel your arms wanting to embrace me…. i have changed jake, because now i’m sure that i won’t let you get out that door without me.”
“how about me? do i need to get out that door?” jake and i looked at riza.
“oh i’m sorry you must be mella’s friend——”
“riza go home i’ll catch you later——-” jake and i said at the same time.
“you’re mean mella!”
i rolled my eyes and went on introducing them.
mirror July 20, 2007
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you see yourself in the mirror everyday.
and because you’re used to seeing yourself everyday, you can’t really tell the difference.
yes your eyebags has it’s own life growing on it’s own, but that’s normal, been like that ever since.
the frown becomes a regular thing to see.
your lips are losing it’s glow.
but that’s normal in your life too, it happens.
what you are not used to is to see yourself smiling for no reason at all, making some faces in front of the mirror like crazy.
you just realize you are happy and it’s a really good feeling to see.
you wonder how your life had been very very lonely when you have a thousand reasons to celebrate life, and thousands of people to share it with.
how funny it is is to hear your own laughter and see your eyes twinkle.
in one blink of an eye, your life has forever changed and now you see things differently.
you are happy, and you never even thought it could happen…… it finally did…. now you want to see tomorrow…. now you want to see what’s in store for you…. now you can wake up and not look at the mirror, but instead see the man who mirrors your happiness.
happiness July 18, 2007
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do you know the best part in goodbye?
it’s the chance to say hello again.to open up to new opportunities, seeing other people, learning your lesson to be careful next time. now you have the chance to explore yourself . appreciate the doors that are open but you ignored before.sure you cried but who doesn’t. sure you cursed that person who you thought will be the last, but hey, probably it’s a blessing.besides, i believe in every pain or suffering, in every tear i shed, in every promise that was broken…there is a corresponding joy in store for me. i believe, that i did my best. i believe that things happen for a reason,that reason maybe unknown to me, probably because if i knew i wouldn’t understand. i believe i will be happy in the future. i believe i will be stronger. i believe this is a chance for me to prepare myself for that something or someone. i believe that something or someone is waiting for me. i believe i am not alone in this world. i believe somebody loves me. i believe someone cares for me. i believe that happiness can be achieved by how i see things, how i think and is dependable with the actions i choose to take. i believe happiness lurks in the corner just watching me to take notice.
…i have four corners.
